A Dog’s Life: ‘Thanksgivukah’

by Emmy Elfin
Chief canine correspondent

What do I think of the early date for Chanukah this year which lands on Thanksgiving? Can you believe someone actually asked me that?

Well, I measure my life in dog years so the Gregorian, which is the “new” version of the Julian and the Jewish calendars, really doesn’t interest me. Yet I have been compelled by the question to consider the impact on my family of this unusual occurrence, which won’t happen again in my lifetime.

For starters: the menu will include turkey and latkes, the latter being outside, not inside the turkey. Since I am a carnivore, nothing but the turkey is worthy of my attention. The increasing number of vegetarians in our midst bothers me as I am a purist carnivore and a picky eater. No pizza, ethnic food or even cookies for me.

I hope we get the usual large turkey which now, since there are fewer meat eaters, should provide leftovers for my species that might last the eight days of Chanukah. For the human vegetarians, it’s a different story, and they will have to produce a meal which fits their food preferences. I’m still shocked at their food choices. Quinoa? Couscous? Lentils? Yams? Kale? Makes me ill to imagine such a meal.

Because I’m the host, I feel I should be the first responder to turkey dropped under the holiday table. My three canine cousins accept this because of my leadership qualities. Sharing is not part of my vocabulary. These spaniel cousins are suburban dogs and rarely get in the way of a street smart dog like me, so things work smoothly when we’re together. By now they know that “mi casa es mi casa”.

I’m thankful for the Day of the Turkey, which undoubtedly began without the vegetables favored by the Whole Foods crowd or the turkey for that matter. I’m certain the Pilgrims never munched on arugula. The cook here will probably go with the traditional corn and cranberry recipes.

As for the even more historic Festival of the Lights, latkes have been late entries and have no religious significance. Same for sour cream and apple sauce. But were we to truly honor history, we’d probably hunt and gather in Rock Creek Park for our meal. That might be fun!